I just read the most amazing author's note. Donald Miller, one of my favorite writers, opens his new book by saying, "nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo." His point is that if our life goal wouldn't make a good movie, it probably won't make a good life. I totally agree.
There was a time in my life where I wanted nothing more than to go to Stanford. I did, and it was great. But that movie probably wouldn't make you cry, would it? Then there was a time, when I was a grunt at an ad agency working on the Microsoft account, where my dream was to work FOR Microsoft, so I could tell grunts like me what to do. I did that too, and it wasn't as great as I thought it would be. I guess I was working out my ending all those years.
So my new dream, one that I hope "sticks" is to be a writer. It's really what I wanted to do all along, but didn't have the courage to pursue. It takes GUTS to be a writer. A willingness to stand stark naked on a street corner and have people point at you and laugh. At least that's what it feels like when you're putting your soul on the page.
I've written a few screenplays, won a few awards, nearly had a script made into a feature, and now I'm writing for TV. I've been doing this for over six years now, and for the first time, doors are really opening. Once again, I hope it sticks. I don't know what the future holds. Some days I wonder if I'm more afraid of success than failure. I'm comfortable where I am today... wife, mother, unknown writer. I'm not a high profile, center of attention kind of person, and don't aspire to that in particular. But I do want my writing to come alive on a screen and I do want to work with brilliant, creative people and I do want to tell stories that are meaningful and reflect my point of view. I've moved 14 times in the last 17 years, lived in 3 different continents and have LOTS of stories to tell. I'd love to get paid for doing what I love. I just want to make sure my marriage and my kids and my soul stay intact through the process.
Not sure if that makes for a great Hollywood ending, but it's the current goal. I guess we're all works in progress, aren't we?